There is Another World Beyond...

I open my eyes in a flash. The world painted on my eyelids disappears. I am awake, I know it. But at the same time I am trapped between the nightmare and reality. I am sitting on my bed, looking at my wall but the feeling lingers and I can’t make it go away. Half of my mind is still there, in the other world reaching for something unknown. This inexplicable feeling is keeping me there as a butterfly attracted to fire. Rage, despair, hopelessness. A drop of every negative emotion there is is stirred in the poison that’s blurring my thoughts but there is also one drop of life that I don’t want to let go of. In that other world there was something worth fighting for until my last breath. I don’t know what it was but I want to keep fighting for it with any means necessary. 

I carry the feeling with me through the whole day. I do the only thing I know always keeps my nightmares alive. And it works. It works so well my mind gives me another nightmare the next night. Alas, the feeling is different. It is guilt. I know it too well. The locks of my hair falling on the floor. The locks somebody else cut – it is all my fault. I must sacrifice too much to keep the feeling alive. I must live with the hatred filling my past or do my best to destroy my future. It is a poison indeed. Sweet, irresistible poison…

About these ads